im drinking this country out of the recession.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
