Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
