Plan B is the new Plan A
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
