its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
