My brain says no but my pants say off.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
