Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
