we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize