Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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