Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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