don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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