The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize