If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You're like the curious george of whores
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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