you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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