no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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