Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
