it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
