He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
