just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
