it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
