I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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