She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
