So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
