I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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