that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
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My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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