Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
