not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
