so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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