We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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