maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
