We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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