All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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