i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
