there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
