are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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