can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I can text with my tongue
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
