He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize