I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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