I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
