i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
