that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
