i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
