well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
