i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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