did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
