I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
