see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
