How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Liz is crying about burritos again.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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