you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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