awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
