I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
