So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
