Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
