Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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