if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
