Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
