Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize