Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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