i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
