According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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