You really coming over, don't trick.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
