I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
