omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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