I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
