we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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