Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
